Discouragement

I meant everything I said in my previous post about choosing joy. I did. And I'm trying, but still really struggling with feeling discouraged.
To not give in to discouragement at my school is honestly a daily battle.

My class looped up from second grade. So most of the students, with the exception of a few who were added to the mix, were all together last year.
In a quick conversation I had with my principal about my class, she said (and I know she was actually trying to be encouraging in her own way), "Last year the teacher who taught your class didn't have problems. They were a pretty good class, so you really shouldn't be having these behavior issues with them."
I think she was meaning to imply that things should get better quickly - trying to instill some hope in me maybe. But it's difficult to not take that statement personally, as though it's just me that's the issue. Like the whole problem must be wrapped up in the way that I'm doing things.
Sigh.
I'm trying really hard to not buy into such discouraging thoughts, and to not believe them as truths.

In reality, two of the four kids who I'm really struggling with were not in this class last year. And those two students work to set of my other two challenging kids who were in the class last year. It's amazing what changing just two kids can do to the dynamic of a classroom.
I mean, today I had kids literally bickering at each other from across the classroom in the middle of a lesson - a growing occurrence among certain students, unfortunately.
It starts out by one student blurting out in a loud voice that "So-And-So called me __________!!!"
Followed by So-And-So's retaliation of "Well, she threw a pencil at me!!!!"
Which quickly escalates into a full on argument, aaaannnnd there goes the focus on math! The entire class is now involved in their exchange of blame and rudeness. I don't even blame the little girl who wants to be moved out of my classroom. It's incredible what goes on!

Today, I called FIVE parents about this type of behavior on my way home from work. Five. Do teachers at other schools have to call that many parents on a daily basis?? I'm just wondering.
Thankfully (refocusing on the positive here), I do have parents who are very supportive and willing to reinforce classroom expectations at home. Parent support is a coin toss at places like my school. My parents may not always be willing or able to read with their child at night or sign their Thursday folder, BUT so far they have been more than willing to get involved when it comes to behavior and discipline. I seriously can't say how much it helps to have parents who want to work as a team. I am so, so thankful for parental support :)

Currently, my biggest struggles are getting my students to stop constantly blurting out, getting out of their seats, and talking while I'm talking/teaching. At times, it truly feels as though I've tried most everything I know - like I've pulled out all the strategies I tucked away from my college classes and still I'm at a loss for effective management skills. That's a discouraging feeling.
As terrible as this is, I'm actually relieved and even a bit happy to hear other teachers say that they aren't able to get through entire lessons yet or that their kids just won't stop talking. It makes me feel like I'm not an epic failure. It helps me to remember that it's not just me.

I have had some good conversations with other teachers at my school about ways to help manage my classroom more effectively. So despite, my growing feelings of helplessness, I am blessed to work with teachers who are willing to discuss and share ideas (another thing to be thankful for). I've come away from some of those conversations recently with a few new things to try in my classroom this week. Nothing is going to be a magic pill for these kids, but something's bound to work with time and consistency.

Please remember me in your prayers - I'm trying reeeeaaallly hard to stay positive!! I could use some help from the Big Guy upstairs!