Back to Reality

After two nice, relaxing, care-free, family-filled, boyfriend loving, all-too-short weeks of Christmas vacation, I returned to the real world of persons who have to work to live.
BUT, as much I am haunted by the truth that I will have to work longer than I've been alive before I am able to retire, I am nonetheless thankful to have a job :) Even though I don't always feel thankful...
Take for example the Sunday night before I started back to work: Not only was I not feeling thankful that I had to return - I had a nightmare. About my students. It was a horrible way to get psyched up for my big debut back to school.
Based on my experience, Sunday evenings are the worst part of each week…because it is the time in which I begin to accept the reality that in less than 24 hours I will, once again, be starting a new week of insanity. And it will be this way for
THE
REST
OF
MY
LIFE.
haha brutal way to look at it, huh?
The truth is, I want to love my job. I try to tell myself that I love my job. I want to look forward to returning to work each Monday morning. But over the break, I decided to stop lying to myself and everyone else. I don't love my job. I don't even like it.
There. I said it.
My blogging has trickled down so much because the last thing I've felt like doing is spending my evenings recounting what goes on during my days.
Why, you say? I'll tell you why… Teaching is the most ridiculously over-worked, insanity-inducing, under-appreciated, disorganized, dramatic, under-paid, headache of a job you can find. (Okay, maybe the president wins out. Except he gets paid well for his gray hair.)
On average, I'm working 12 hours a day. That's AT the school. Who knows how many hours I've invested in my job planning, researching, and grading at home. And I still can't keep up with all the demands that are placed on me. It's RIdiculous, I tell you. Over the break, I pondered more than once what it would be like to work a desk job. I don't care what kind - just some place where I could leave at 5pm each day and then go have my own life. On some days, it sounds like a dream :)
Siiiiiiggghhh.
Needless to say, I was NOT looking forward to my return to school. I was dreading it, in fact. And feeling very much like a failure; wondering if I indeed bit off more than I could chew by choosing to work at a low-income school my first year of teaching.

But, the Lord must have sent forth an angel to prepare my classroom... because on the first day back from the break my students were wonderful! I was stunned. After two weeks of no school and no rules, I was told they would return acting as though they had never stepped foot in my classroom before; never been made aware of the expectations I have. Not so! They left as little hellions and returned as controlled little children! Don't ask me how or why - It was like magic. They were listening! They were participating! They weren't interrupting me! They stayed in their seats! They followed the rules! It really was a Christmas miracle. It was just what I needed to renew hope in me.

On Wednesday of the same week my students earned a sidewalk chalk party for good behavior in the cafeteria. Below are a few of the heart-warming designs they drew :)








I mean, talk about a confidence booster :)

I was certainly convinced that I no longer needed to daydream about desk jobs or going back to college… I know I am called to be a teacher. This is what I was created to do. And my kids aren't so bad. At least not nightmare-worthy. Well, at least MOST of the time they're not nightmare-worthy ;)

This year my New Year's resolution is two-fold:
Maintain sanity. Find joy even in the small things.